Taco Fiesta!

Your spouse/partner/roommate has let it slip that twenty or so people have been invited over, and that they perhaps expect food and drink. You have a culinary reputation to uphold, but that’s a lot of people, and feeding them can be pricey—not to mention a hell of a lot of work. That’s why one of my default meals for this sort of occasion is this affordable, tasty, fairly easy (it is, after all, twenty people), just-exotic-enough-to-impress taco feast.

The Menu
Marinated enchilada meat from local Mexican market—let’s say 5–6 lbs. for 20 or so
     people
6 dozen fresh corn tortillas
2 dozen limes, halved, then quartered
3 bunches cilantro, washed well and leafy parts chopped
2 large white onions, finely chopped
Cojita or feta cheese
Assortment of hot sauces
Pico de gallo
Guacamole

The Plan
On fiesta day, head for the nearest Mexican market. If the sign actually says carniceria (butcher shop), you’ve hit the jackpot. Walk in and find the meat counter. There will be a tray of bright-orange, thinly sliced meat with—probably—a sign that says “enchilada.” I have no idea why it says enchilada: We always use it for tacos. Someday I’ll stop and ask, but I kind of like the mystery. I’m not entirely sure if this stuff is pork or beef. My wife Shannon asked once and was told it was pork; as I was not present, I consider this less than definitive.

If the sign in front also says tortilleria, you’ve hit the double-jackpot. The single most important lesson to take from this column: ANY SOFT CORN TORTILLA THAT WASN’T MADE THAT VERY DAY IS AN INEDIBLE CARDBOARD FRISBEE. Nothing, not even a stranded-climber headline, goes stale faster than a fresh corn tortilla. They turn from buttery and delectable to flaky and desiccated in mere hours. Fortunately, there are now many establishments (Marissa’s on 38th and Nicollet, La Perla at the Mercado Central at Lake and Bloomington and on Payne in St. Paul, and I’m sure others off Concord in St. Paul) that make tortillas daily, right on the premises, then hand them over to you wrapped in paper, still warm from the machine—at a buck for two dozen.

If the mercado carries cojita cheese, buy some: it’s nice and salty and crumbly—and not actually served with tacos in Mexico, but I like it. Otherwise feta works just fine. Buy your limes at the market as well: they’re gonna cost much less than at Lunds or Whole Foods. Same with avocados if you’re making guac.

Eat 4–6 tortillas on the drive home.

Cooking
Set a bunch of bowls on the table. Put the limes in one, the cheese in one, the cilantro in one, the onions in one. If you made pico (chopped tomato, chopped white onion, cilantro, lime juice, chopped hot pepper, salt) to be served as an appetizer with chips, serve what’s left as a taco condiment. Same with guacamole (a few ripe avocados mashed with a fork and mixed with chopped white onion, lime juice, and kosher salt—no mayonnaise, ever! I mean, yuck!).

Get the hottest fire possible in your grill. The idea is to get a char on the taco meat before it gets overcooked and tough. Quickly grill the meat, piece by piece, then bring it inside and chop it up with the biggest knife you’ve got. Serve on a platter beside the condiments and a big stack of tortillas that you’ve nuked for just a bit, if necessary, to return them to buttery warmness.

Drinks
Lots of Negra Modelo beer on ice, served with lime wedges. I also like Pacifico a lot. Dos Equis Amber is good. Don’t understand the appeal of Corona, myself: It’s like Coors in a cool bottle. And, of course, for you and your classy friends, Trailer Trash Margaritas.

Trailer Trash Margaritas
They’re lazy and shamelessly inauthentic. Rick Bayless would kick your ass if you tried to serve him one—and they’re way better than they have any right to be.

1 can frozen limeade
1 can Sierra Mist (trust me)
1 can beer
1 can (after the limeade has been disgorged) tequila

Mix ingredients. Rub cut lime along the rim of a glass, dip rim in kosher salt on plate, turn glass right side up, place ice in glass, pour. Repeat as often as is responsible.

Playlist
We don’t have a lot of Mexican music on the iMac, but in my opinion, most music from hot places tends to work well with most food from other hot places. So when you’re eating Mexican or Thai at our house, you’re likely to hear:

• Jimmy Cliff, “Sitting in Limbo”
• King Sunny Ade, “Ja Funmi”
• Lily Allen, “Smile”
    I know, she’s a young, snotty Brit, but it’s ska-sounding. And very funny.
• Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass, “Bittersweet Samba”
    Tijuana’s in Mexico, right?
• Stan Getz and Joao Gilberto, “The Girl from Ipanema”
    I never get tired of this song; it would be impossible to get tired of this song.
• Bebel Gilberto, Baby
    Joao’s daughter with “Ipanema” singer Astrud.
• Harry Belafonte, “Jump in the Line”
• Dizzy Gillespie, “Desafinado”
• Fela Kuti, “No Agreement”
• Don Olmar & Tego Calderon, “Bandoleros”
    Mexican rap that my fourteen-year-old son, Sam, turned me on to.
• Ibrahim Ferrer, “Bruca Manigua”
    The late, exquisite vocalist for the Buena Vista Social Club.
• Cesaria Evora, “Sangue De Beirona”
• Neil Young & Crazy Horse, “Cortez the Killer”
    Mexican-themed story—albeit a story that’s kind of a downer. Can’t beat the riff,
     though.
• A Tribe Called Quest, “I Left My Wallet in El Segundo”
    El segundo is Spanish for “the second.” Should be moved up on the list.
• Nothing from Bob Marley’s Legend.