So Long, Farewell . . . I’ll Call You in an Hour

“I Maxed Out My Credit Card and Can’t Pay It Off”
Many eighteen-year-old college freshman are managing their own finances for the first time—and finding themselves in over their heads. “Finances are an area where parents should be involved because they can affect the whole family,” Savage says. “If a student drops chemistry and goes down in credits, she might not qualify to live in the residence hall, or she may have to start paying back financial aid.”

Offer to work out a budget with your student to figure out living expenses and costs for items like cell phones, books, student fees, and toiletries. Does she realize the true costs of a car—gas, insurance, unexpected repairs? Advise that she toss out the credit card offers that flood campus mailboxes and check out campus resources (the financial aid office is a good place to start); some schools even offer workshops to help students understand financial planning.

“I’ve Gained/Lost Weight”
Has your student gained weight over the course of a semester? Could be the food available in the cafeteria, so reminders about healthy eating might be helpful. But if he’s put weight on—or lost it—in a short period of time, there may be another problem altogether.

“Depression is kind of common in college,” Grindahl says. “Change and stress can trigger a depressive episode. Watch for changes like the loss of interest in things your son or daughter used to enjoy or if he or she is sleeping less or more.” If these or other symptoms, such as weight shifts or changes in appetite, persist for more than two weeks, encourage your child talk to someone in the health and wellness center.

“Team up with his roommate, a friend, a professor he trusts,” Grindahl says. “Keep those lines of communication open when it comes to depression.”

Run-of-the-mill colds may call for you to send a care package; other illnesses can call for more. Make sure your student knows what health resources are available on and off campus. “A lot of students get to college never having had to make a doctor’s appointment or deal with health insurance,” Savage says. “The worst time to deal with those issues is when they’re sick.”

“I Can’t Get It All Done”
With volleyball practice, classes, study groups, volunteer work at the community center, a work-study job, and rehearsals for Fiddler on the Roof, it’s no wonder your daughter is feeling overwhelmed—especially if she no longer has you around to arrange her schedule.

“Students come to college from a life that’s very structured,” Walter says “They’re coming in with parents that have done it for them. Then they get to college and they’re on their own.”

The goal is to empower students to manage their own time. You can help by recommending your daughter make an appointment with an academic adviser to look over her schedule. The adviser can point out common time wasters, like watching too much TV or e-mailing friends, and also determine whether extracurricular activities are taking away from her studies.

Some schools, like Concordia University in St. Paul, have special programs in place to help students struggling to manage their schedules. Joe Florez Jr., now associate director of undergraduate admissions and assistant football coach at Concordia University, was one such student. “Coming in here, I did horribly,” he says. “I didn’t need the math, writing, or reading tutoring—I needed time management help.”

He got that help in a year-long program called Academic Development, which helps students efficiently plan their days, improve their study habits, and get enough sleep. “That program really helped me get going,” he says. “I did A and B work after that.”