Ballpark, Stadium, Arena

Merely Annoying:	Asinine:	Hanging Offense:	Sign of the Coming Apocalypse:

Going out for a beer, brat, or bathroom break mid-inning
Sacred ballpark etiquette—sadly, now as rare as a well-executed sac bunt—says stay in your seat until the third out. Something your father should have taught you.

Believing that the huge cardboard “D” and picket fence mockup is witty
Maybe back in the days of the single wing.

The drunks at Vikings games
Contemptible louts like many of their helmeted heroes.

Darrell-chanting
To player-baiting what the tomahawk chop is to public expressions of civic pride.

Making out on the JumboTron
We’re not against public displays of affection. We just don’t want to see it twenty-four times life size. And we sure don’t want to be up there ourselves.

Proposing on the JumboTron
Our advice to the poor woman the witless boob is asking to marry: Just say no.

Electronic cheer prompts
It’s the bottom of the eighth. Our boys are down a run with runners on second and third. We need the scoreboard to tell us to make noise.

Moments of silence
If we wanted a little quiet, we wouldn’t have come to the ballpark.

Booing A. J. Pierzynski
So bush league.

Beach balls, flashlight batteries, and other trash tossed on the field
Beneath contempt.

The Wave

Cell phones