Why the Parking Valet Hates You

» Just because you pay us eight bucks to park your car, you don’t own the place—or us.

» The parking service is “coin operated,” which means the other valets and I split $2 per car plus the tips. You forgot the tip.

» The inside of a car tells us a lot about its owner—fastidious or trashy, cultured or not—and what your car says about you isn’t so good.

» We’re not impressed by flash.

» You tell us to “be careful with it.” Yeah, like I’m going to scrape up your car so I’ll lose my job.