Dating in the Twin Cities 2010

Name: Alexis Walsko
Age: 32
Profession: Founder and president of Lola Red PR, Shop Girl on FM 107’s Shop Girls.
Status: Always looking for a good time and a partner for the journey.

Friday
2:07 p.m. Lunching with Christy DeSmith, an editor of this magazine, at Moose and Sadie’s in the North Loop. Christy pops the question, “would you consider keeping a diary of your dating and love life?” My response: “Sounds like fun, but do you realize I do not get a lot of action?”

3:31 p.m. I inform my staff that I am profiling my dating life a la Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City. Gasp and giggles ensue.

6:45 p.m. Hot Yoga. 90 minutes of sweating and balancing, not sexy. Rolling with it today as a solid workout is proven to make people feel more desirable. I plan to go home and sit on the sofa awaiting the results.

8:23 p.m. Just noticed large black circles around my eyes courtesy of runny eyeliner and sweat. OMG, how many people have seen me like this and think it is my new look.

9:51p.m. Home alone. Shower. Read The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire by Deepak Chopra.

9:59 p.m. Deepak is trying to convince me that I need to pay attention to the coincidences in life as they are clues to love, success, and happiness. So, that handsome stranger at the book store last week was… reminding me not to settle.

Saturday
1:13 a.m. Wake up and change Facebook status to “I am just looking for a few good men.” Should get the point across and let all potential suitors know that I am available.

10:07 a.m. Check Facebook page and find the following comments to my status.
+ Male: “I’m single”
+ Male in a relationship: “Check Blockbuster, I am sure they have got it”
+ Male in a relationship: “I’m available, haha”
+ Female: “Go to the Saloon! Major hotties”
+ Single male: “I thought that was only in the movies…”
+ Married female: “For exactly what??? Interesting!!!”
+ Male: “I am sure that you will find them. Just like a magnet, they will come right to you.”
+ Married female: “Your fans are demanding an answer girlfriend! LOL!
Note to self: Facebook is not the place to look for advice or dating opportunities.
Second note to self: Find new male Facebook friends, current ones are clueless.

1:17 p.m. Plan night out with two married girlfriends. Combined they have 6 children. Our lives could not be more different.

5:41 p.m. Woman stops me in Anthropologies at the West End to compliment my “style.” I thank her profusely especially since I am the only one that knows I have been wearing the same outfit for two days and have not washed my hair in four.

6:03 p.m. Arrive at Crave before my girlfriends. Survey the landscape. A lot of couples. Not looking good for the single girl.

6:07 p.m. I want to snag myself a suburban stallion tonight.

6:23 p.m. Girlfriends grill me on my dating life. I hate these questions from the married set, but throw the girls a bone: Last week I flirted with a pro-football player until another girl in his posse pulled me aside to inform me that I am not going to get anywhere with him.

7:11 p.m. Forty-something male wearing multiple gold chains stops by our table to compliment my hair. We laugh. Come on, dude, you can do better than that!

7:14 p.m. He cruises past my hub again and continues gushing about my locks. He does not linger, thankfully. 9 p.m. Survey the scene. Time to go home, Crave has turned to coupledom. I love these nights.

9:13 p.m. Stop by Cuzzy’s to check in with the neighborhood peeps. I know that there will be a friend in the crowd and I can catch up on the new Vanity Fair. I admit it, reading a magazine at a bar does not make me appear approachable. Where the hell am I supposed to catch up on my reading? I cozy up next to three gorgeous 20-something boys.

9:37 p.m. Handsome young thing queries, “How is your night?” I respond, “Good, how old are you?”

9:38 p.m. Handsome young thing turns back to friends and the three focus on a bar top video game. Full disclosure: the video game features topless women with overly perky boobs. These boys are young enough to believe that this is the way real women look.

9:47 p.m. I am done. The boys are getting increasingly wasted and annoying.

10:21 p.m. Get a kiss goodnight from my best canine friend, Lily.

Sunday
7:30 a.m. Best girlfriend calls. She is visiting from Chicago and wants to go out tonight. Amen, I need time with an old friend and her visit seems in line with Deepak Chopra's thoughts that the world sends you what you need when you need it.

4:30 p.m. Girlfriend cancels dinner but wants to meet up for drinks at 8:30. I want to go to Barrio.

6:37 p.m. Head to Punch for dinner, take out. This single girl’s home only stocks Red Bull, salad dressing, and corn nuts. When combined they might make up a food group.

6:57 p.m. Girlfriend leaves me a message that she will come over at 8:30. Perfect. I want to go Barrio.

8:20 p.m. She sends a text: “We’re on our way.” Cool. The “we” must mean she is bringing her sister. Love her sister.

8:21 p.m. Realize Jamie’s sister is in Guatemala. Did she bring her boyfriend to Minnie? As if I want to hang out with a couple! Ish. Depressing. Boring. NOOOOOOO!

8:23 p.m. The boyfriend wants to see the Guthrie, so I tell them: “Of course I would love to go to the Guthrie.” I am lying and make them drive me there so I can start texting my way out of this situation. I text every friend, gay, and acquaintance in the vicinity to come and meet up with us.

8:45 p.m. Endless bridge with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. They stick together to stay warm and take in the sights as one. I imagine they have a John Mayer song playing in their heads. I fidget with my Blackberry. Someone please text me and get me out of this!

8:53 p.m. Stop at the Target lounge for a glass of champagne. Seems as if we are the only peeps in the Guthrie tonight. I am sure that the boyfriend does not relish having me along for the romantic evening. Trust me, the sentiment is shared.

9:11 p.m. Platonic friend from L.A. texts me that he is in town and is close to the Guthrie. Dude better get here fast and get me out of this!

9:30 p.m. Platonic friend arrives and we decide to ditch the couple and stroll over to La Grassa. It is a solid 10-block walk.

1 a.m. Platonic friend finds fine wine and an audience at La Grassa for his jokes. I excuse myself and head home.

1:11 a.m. Feeling bad that I left platonic friend with strangers.

1:12 a.m. If friend is so platonic he can take care of himself but he should have walked me home.

Monday
7 a.m. Hot yoga. Everyone is hot in this studio, literally.

9:37 a.m. Caffeination. Get into convo with Kenyan-based coffee executive visiting the Twin Cities. He asks if I used to be a model. What part of my five-foot three-inch stout frame and surgically altered nose gives off the model vibe? If this is the case, I am booking a trip to Kenya pronto to see if I can snag a modeling gig.

10 a.m. Beautiful Kenyan man refers to wife and children. I am not surprised. Rethink trip to Kenya.

5: 03 p.m. Massage with Russian goddess Danica. Danica guides me to her den and gives me more personal attention than I have had in ages.

5:37 p.m. Danica massages my butt with her elbow and I am surprised that I am not more uncomfortable and realize that this ass grab is the first I have experienced in ages. I count this as getting a little action.

Tuesday
5:30 a.m. Early morning wakeup calls are not sexy. Ever.

7:13 a.m. Arrive at office and find that a guy I used to date e-mailed me. Interesting. Do I respond now or wait until noon?

7:14 a.m. I respond now and secretly hope he e-mails back by noon. My life did not come with a censor button. I do not know how to pace my communication and have a feeling it has turned off a fair amount of men.

11:01 a.m. Receive phone call regarding the sofa I posted for sale on Craigslist. Caller loves the sofa and wants to pay for it and pick it up this evening. Sweet. I think. Now I have to arrange for security detail for meeting with a Craigslister.

Noon No response from old flame. Send another email to him hoping it will hurry his response. I know it is the not the right thing to do but I can’t help myself.

5 p.m. No response form old flame. I am moving on.

7 p.m. Feeling bad about selling sofa. It was my first big purchase as a grownup. My boyfriend at the time thought big and red was a stupid choice for home décor. We obviously did not last.

7:31 p.m. Pick up a bottle of wine to use as payment for girlfriend who steps in for security detail for any potential stranger danger with Craigslister.

8:11 p.m. Stranger arrives to pick up sofa. He will not stop staring at me. Asks me if I have a boyfriend. I stumble on the answer and he immediately begins pursuit.

8:17 p.m. Money changes hands. Girlfriend and I help stranger carry sofa. I turn down the opportunity for a date with the stranger no less than 11 times. Girlfriend can testify.

9:20 p.m. Stranger calls me an hour after the transaction to see if I will reconsider and get a cup of coffee with him. Decent move. Still recovering from overt gestures. I plug him into my phone as “do not answer.”

Wednesday
11:45 a.m. Cell phone warns me that I am having lunch with Amelia Santaniello at Barrio on Nicollet in 15 minutes. Crap, I am in Golden Valley!

11:59 a.m. Coworker drops me off on the corner of 7th and Nicollet. Thankfully, I know how to work it (the corner).

12:05 p.m. Lunch at Barrio with Amelia. She shows up glowing and fresh-faced bearing no resemblance to a traditional TV anchor. I hate her—her skin looks like she is 20. I am sporting a 32-year-old breakout and forgot to refresh my lips before lunch.

12:11 p.m. Obsessed watching a couple lunching across the way. They are in their 40s and holding hands. I would typically become squeamish over the PDA but this couple is cuter than most. Maybe I should ease up on couples.

7 p.m. Cute, single neighbor calls to see if I am free for dinner. Wants to go out at 9:30 p.m. Obviously does not know that I like to be in bed by 11. Is this considered a date?

9:37 p.m. Neighbor calls and is walking over.

10 p.m. Dining at La Grassa. I should like this guy but I am not budging or offering up any info. Neighbor is engaging, smart, accomplished—and I am not attracted to him. What is wrong with me?

11:31 p.m. Direct conversation to personal life. Maybe I can find something in his past that will make him more attractive to me.

11:41 p.m. Neighbor admits he cheated on last girlfriend. Bad move. I am done.

Midnight Awkward stroll home. I deliberately protect my sidewalk and personal space from intrusions by this fellow. My mind screams, Do not give him any signs of interest! Neighbor walks me to my door, I go for the hug, and he kisses me on the lips. My mind swirls over the imminent we-are-better-as-friends conversation. I need to remember this feeling for the time my potential soul mate springs it on me.

12:17 p.m. Decide to skip the better-as-friend chat with neighbor and opt for a slow fade in which I will slowly decrease the amount of contact over a two-week period.

Thursday
5:03 a.m. Up and moving for the start of a four-day marathon of shooting for a client profile piece for national network. I will not see solid sleep again for days.

5:45 a.m. Apply a thick layer of makeup that will magically disappear over the next 15 hours.

6:30 a.m. Meet the TV crew I will be working with all week. Thankfully there is one tall, handsome crew member. Did handsome stranger say “nice to meet you?” I am stunned into silence by this guy’s presence. The weeklong shoot is looking better.

7:07 a.m. Sexy techy laughs at all of my jokes. Step one!

12:20 a.m. Head to bed completely clueless of what the coming day holds.

Friday
4 a.m. Wakeup. This is stupid early. I have not seen this hour of the morning from this side of sleep.

9:37-ish Sexy techy asks for my business card. Is he thinking what I am thinking or just trying to network his next gig? I am too tired to dwell.

1:31 p.m. Techy gets my cell number from my card and calls me! Full disclosure: He forgot his equipment at the shoot and asks for my assistance in getting it back. I make a note—he has my number and knows how to use it.

8:37 p.m. Night shoot falls apart miserably. It happens to the best of us. I am exhausted and in need of a hug, kind word, anything to minimize the feeling of failure.

11:07 p.m. Techy calls (note, second unrequested call) to tell me not to stress out and that he had a great day. He also mentions that we can chat about the shoot falling apart at a later date. I save his message, not sure why.

11:11 p.m. Re-listen to the message to make sure I heard right. He wants to get together after our work engagement.

11:59 p.m. Receive a text from flirtatious techy: “sweet dreams.”