About Bullying

Q: How common is bullying?
A: A 2005 survey conducted by the National Center for Education Statistics found that approximately 28 percent of students (age twelve to eighteen) had been bullied at school during the past six months and 8 percent had been bullied almost daily. The National Crime Prevention Council suggests that more than half of American teens are exposed to cyberbullying in one form or another.

Q: Are there notable differences between bullying and cyberbullying?
A: Students who haven’t mastered face-to-face communication have a venue in which to bully where they don’t have to face their target. Cyberbullying can be quick, anonymous, and efficient; students are impulsive and do something before they even think about it.

Q: What are the dangers for kids who are repeatedly bullied?
A: Grades may drop and there is greater risk of dropping out of school. Bullied students may start to think there is something wrong with them and that they deserve it. They may start to feel helpless and think that nobody cares and they are at greater risk of depression and anxiety. They have a decrease in self-worth and self-esteem; some students become suicidal. Most school shootings involve students who were bullied.

Q: Which kids are most susceptible bullying?
A: Bullying is NOT normal childhood conflict where equal parties have a disagreement. Generally, one or both of the following factors is present in a bullying incident: 1) The student most at risk often lacks friends or a peer group. 2) The bullied student provides an emotional reaction to the situation, such as being scared, getting angry, fighting back, or becoming sad.

Q: How involved should parents get?
A: Parents of elementary school students will want to be directly involved in responding to the bullying. With middle school kids, it’s important to involve them in brainstorming solutions and to empower them to implement those solutions.

Q: How should kids react to a bully?
A: Don’t give the bully an emotional response. Bullying is not personal; it’s a game for the bully. Don’t play the game. If the target can stay cool, the target wins the power. Recognize the potential for bullying and move away from the situation; parents, help your child decide where to go. Also, stay in the view of an adult. Bullies are more likely to target kids when they are alone.

Q: Why don’t kids tell their parents when they are bullied?
A: 1) They think their parents will overreact, that they will try to fix the situation. Kids just want to be listened to; they also want to be part of the solution. 2) They have come to believe the misguided message that if only they “stood up” to the bully once, the bullying would stop. As a result, they feel weak because they were not able to stop the bullying on their own. 3) They’re not convinced that adults care about stopping the bullying because they have seen adults watch bullying without doing anything.