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Registry Rules
After Rebecca Harrison and Tobin Brogunier got engaged in March 2007, both were eager to start planning for their late-summer wedding in beautiful coastal Maine. But when it came time to register for gifts, Tobin was less than thrilled. "My fiancé is a practical guy from Maine who prides himself on not accumulating a lot of stuff," Rebecca says. So when her maid of honor decided to throw the couple a "Stock the Bar" shower, Tobin stayed in the background while Rebecca stocked their registry with lots of fun items from Crate and Barrel. "He thought our eclectic collection of pint glasses from various bars, souvenir shot glasses, and chipped wine glasses from IKEA were sufficient," Rebecca admits, "while I dreamed of serving margaritas out of real margarita glasses and martinis out of real martini glasses."
Then a funny thing happened. Much to Rebecca's surprise, Tobin got involved with the registry process. "One day, when I was on my laptop editing our registry, Tobin happened to pass through the room, and glancing at the computer screen, said casually, 'I think the first scotch glasses you picked were better,'" Rebecca recalls. Later that week, Rebecca found him on the computer adding items to the registry. "Once he realized he was going to be living with these things too, he decided he better put his two cents in." Now that the couple is married and living in Minneapolis, they are putting to good use many of their wedding gifts—including Tobin's last-minute picks. "Ironically, we haven't had the margarita or the martini party yet," Rebecca says, "but he's definitely been enjoying those scotch glasses when he has his buddies over!" Since every couple should be excited about creating a personalized wedding registry, we've put together a list of tips to help guide the decision-making process. Determine Your Needs—and Wants Different couples start their marriages with different things. Couples in their thirties will have accumulated various household items over the course of their adult lives. However, couples in their twenties will need more basics such as dish towels, measuring cups, and mixing bowls. Take inventory of your combined household items and only count what you want to keep. Then make a checklist of items you need, such as a high quality cookware set—a must-have item for every couple. Next jot down your wants—even if it's an item you already have. For example, you may have a "perfectly good' coffee maker that still percolates, but you'd like a shiny new one. Don't feel guilty about adding it to your wish list. "Every couple, regardless of age, would like a fresh, clean start," says Deb Rebman, gift registry director at JCPenney. And your wedding guests will be happy to accommodate. Determine Your Style Just because your mother and grandmother had a hutch filled with formal chinaware and fine Italian linens doesn't mean your registry needs to be filled with these same items. It's up to you to decide the degree of formality for your tableware—and your lifestyle. "It really starts with the lifestyle the couple envisions for themselves," Rebman says. So, ask yourself: Are you casual or formal? What colors do you like? (Neutral colors are easy to build upon.) Also, couples should consider how they like to spend their time together and register for the appropriate items. Many soon-to-be-marrieds who enjoy the great outdoors are requesting camping equipment and electric grills along with the traditional household staples. Easy Etiquette Getting gifts: It's considered bad manners to include registry reminder cards with your wedding invitations. However, the host of your bridal shower is free to tell the entire world where you're registered in the shower invitations. Don't take a honeymoon from the thank-you notes: You have four weeks after you arrive home from your honeymoon to thank your Aunt Marge for the lovely picture frame that'll hold the photo of you and your sweetie enjoying a post-wedding Maui sunset. Luckily, the Twin Cities has a plethora of stores to accommodate couples' varied requests for everything from Simon Pearce tableware to Coleman camping equipment. But, since many times these items aren't under one roof, consider registering at a couple different stores that speak to different parts of your personality—and may offer different levels of services. For example, though your favorite boutique may offer hip housewares, it may not offer an online registry, which out-of-town relatives and busy guests rely upon. National stores such as Target, Macy's, and Crate and Barrel, boast online services as well as a wide selection of products. Also, pick a store that offers great perks, such as completion discounts, so you can purchase at a discount the dinner plates and champagne flutes you didn't receive as gifts. Your Registry Day To ensure you register for items you'll cherish, avoid giving into the magical power of the registry wand. Even before stepping into the store, preview the store's inventory online; once you're at the store avoid adding too many last-minute items to your checklist. Register for more gifts than guests, since friends and family like to have plenty of options. (Remember, there are engagement parties and showers, too.) "A good rule of thumb is for a couple to register for two to three times the total number of wedding guests—this will allow for ample choices for friends and family," Rebman says. Also, be considerate of the various budgets of your guests. "The couple... should have a good balance of items under $75 and over $75," she adds. A carefully planned registry will pay off in the long run. "Busy people actually appreciate registries, as they know they are getting you something you really want," Rebecca says. And that's something even a practical guy from Maine can appreciate.
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